Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize