I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
