how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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