sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
