There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize