What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
