Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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