I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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