I didn't shave. On purpose
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Randomize