i barfeds in our rink
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
