I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
