I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
