I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
