Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
