i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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