A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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