This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If I die, sorry about rent.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
