I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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