I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
