Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
