is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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