i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
