I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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