i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
