Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
