I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
