I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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