like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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