maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
