She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
