I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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