HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
