in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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