how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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