I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
