I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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