are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Quick, to the slutcave!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
