I'm lost and stupid without you.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's blow job season.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize