if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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