You work out of a Hotel?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
