He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
