um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
