i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
