wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
