i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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