I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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