Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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