when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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