ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
