Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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