Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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