I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
