I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
