Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
