he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
