Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
as a side note pls kill me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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