it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
