I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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