We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
