I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
