Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fuck appropriateness.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
did i walk over a car last night?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
