i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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