matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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