Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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