I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
