You really coming over, don't trick.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
