Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
